Four Awesome Problems to Have After Getting Freshly Pressed on WordPress

1 Dec

Yesterday afternoon I uploaded my second post to my blog and threw it up on Facebook to start awaiting the handful of views to trickle in. About an hour later, I received Willy Wonka’s golden ticket in my inbox:

“Congrats! Your post has been Freshly Pressed on the home page.”

Golden Ticket
Charlie knows what I’m talking about.

This sent me into an Internet induced tailspin that has given me some awesome problems to complain about. Here’s a brief description of what my Freshly Pressed experience has been so far…

1. You Will Call Every Person You Have Ever Known. Ever.

After contacting every one of my family members, I started scrolling through my phone contacts and texting every single person I know in alphabetical order. Ever wondered how to piss off your 7th grade english teacher at 1AM? Blow that phone up.

Math teacher at chalkboard
Nobody #*%$ing cares that I use comma splices!

For some reason, no one seems quite as enthusiastic as you, even if they are legitimately excited for you. And it’s not because they’re not totally hyped about your new found exposure, only that you’ve just snorted the internet equivalent of Scarface Brand Cocaine.

Scarface with cocaine
Perhaps he should’ve just started a WordPress site.

Then comes the moment you run out of people to annoy. Once you’ve exhausted your entire network…

2. You Will Do Nothing But Constantly Check Your Comments, Likes, Links, and Statistics.

I haven’t eaten for 17 hours. I can’t do anything but click between email, Facebook, WordPress, Twitter and my phone. Sixty minutes after receiving my first email from WordPress, I had almost 50 blog related emails waiting to be read in my inbox. And it’s awesome. I had a bunch of plans last night and I didn’t do a single thing because I was obsessively waiting for each individual comment and response.

Guy staring at paint drying
Define “a bunch of plans.”

After I saw the number of visits jump past the 1,000 mark, I suddenly realized I hadn’t planned for the next problem…

3. You Are Totally Unprepared for This Large of an Audience.

I originally wrote the article as a satirical look at my recent experience with the health care system (it’s all very true). So imagine my surprise when all the sudden I find that the post is actually hitting home for thousands of people. Now I’m reading and rereading my work with my new found text-induced neurosis and rewriting my “About” page like it’s my status update on Facebook.

Guy thinking hard about something
Wait… Is it “your” or “you’re?” Probably doesn’t matter, no one’s going to read it anyway.

My other big issue is that I just started writing last Monday. This means I have exactly one post other than my Health Insurance piece to offer this totally incredible audience. Two posts. I have a total of two posts.

Guy selling two beers
“Hey! I know everyone’s thirsty, but don’t worry, I brought these two beers!”

Regardless, you’ve updated as much you can, now it’s just time to sit back and enjoy the ride right? Welcome to problem four…

4. You Will Now Live In Constant Fear That You’ve Just Peaked as a Hobby Blogger.

You know those moments in life when you’re having so much fun you just have no idea how things could possibly get any better? This blogging hangover feels kind of like the day after those moments. You’ve just written about an experience that seemed to have a pretty big impact on a bunch of people, how are you possibly going to top that?

Screenshot of blogpost
Hint: Not with this.

You’re slowly getting bumped off the Freshly Pressed page and you’re getting fewer and fewer likes/shares… You start to wonder, “Did I just hit the absolute top of my game only five days after starting?”

K Fed Douche
Ask K-Fed, he should know.

And so begins the pity party.

In the end, it’s so absolutely cool of WordPress to float blogs of interest up where people can see them regardless of how long the person has been blogging or how many posts they have. I think it’s a pretty awesome incentive for anyone and everyone to just get out there and start writing, because you never know when an opportunity might arise that gives you the chance to be heard by thousands of people. I really appreciate WordPress for giving me that chance and of course all the  bloggers and readers who’ve shared a few minutes of their day to read a few thoughts from a fellow Interneter. I’m incredibly fortunate and lucky, because I know that there’s a randomness to it all. It feels like winning the lottery.

Celebrating with money
At least, what I imagine it feels like.

If you like the blog, make sure to follow up top! And if you’re into the “Twitter” you can always follow me at @MacsJF. I know, it’s shameless…

Thanks for reading!


29 Responses to “Four Awesome Problems to Have After Getting Freshly Pressed on WordPress”

  1. becomingcliche December 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Now you have three blog posts!

    • macsJF December 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

      Right? I gotta say though, it was way more nerve racking than the first two…

  2. aimee December 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

    Stage fright is normal. As long as you write about what you think and not what you think people want to read…it’ll all be fine…and FOMO is a just side effect of all this connectivity.

  3. macsJF December 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    That fear of missing out is deadly. You can definitely get caught up constantly trying to always be right there when the action happens. I feel like it spreads us all a little thin.

  4. For Better GENiUS December 1, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

    just imagine the audience naked…. well i guess naked sitting in their homes on their laptops. i mean, it IS their house, they can do as they please. stop pressuring them to put some clothes back on

    • macsJF December 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

      Can they at least close the windows? I’ve asked them like a dozen times.

  5. December 1, 2011 at 6:07 pm #

    Just think. After awhile, you’ll be Freshly Pressed, yawn a couple times. maybe scratch something, then just toss out another regular post.

    • macsJF December 2, 2011 at 8:47 am #

      Hahaha… Yeah, it’d be awesome to get to a point where getting Freshly Pressed is no big deal : ) I’d probably never get there though, if I get Freshly Pressed again my brain will explode.

  6. leschaef December 1, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    My thoughts exactly! Excited to see where your blog leads!

    • macsJF December 1, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

      I see we both went with the “Oh my god I’ve been Freshly Pressed!” reaction and follow up post : ) Congrats to you!

  7. Miss Molly December 1, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

    Wow, impressive – you were Freshly Pressed on your first post… it took me a few months before i got “noticed” with my first blog There and Back Again – Alaska. What you say is true but I keep plugging away hoping I’ll get “pressed” again… I’ve started a new blog and am working on a third. I like what you have so far so I think I’ll follow along and see where you take your new found popularity… keep up the good work!

    • macsJF December 1, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

      Thanks so much for the post! There’s certainly a hope that I’ll get “Pressed” again in the future but I’m honestly just completely stoked that even a couple of folks have decided to follow my blog! It was more of a creative outlet to share with friends than what I would consider a “real” : ) blog, but I’m excited either way! Thanks again!

  8. Dienna December 1, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

    Congratulations on getting a Freshly Pressed post so soon!

    I think it’d ease your nerves and lessen the pressure if you write just to write. Don’t write for a specific audience or with the expectation that you’re trying to attract readers. (Obviously just writing to write worked since your second post was Freshly Pressed!) Just keep typing up whatever comes to mind, and you’ll find your flow from there.

    • macsJF December 1, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

      Thanks Dienna! You’re absolutely right… There was a moment there where I started to think about which direction I should take the blog and then I realized that it already had a direction, so stick with it. I appreciate the advice, I’ve got a brainstorm sheet of topics that interest me enough to write about them, so I should have plenty to blither on about over the next few weeks. : )

      Thanks again!


  9. deborahbidwell December 2, 2011 at 8:05 am #

    It is fantastic to get fp, or so I have heard, have yet to get that status, but oh well maybe one day that will happen for me to, but now you are “famous” in wordpress circles, enjoy the basking in new “friends” and keep us up to date with your insurance troubles, we (hubby & I) have similar problems, so I can relate more than you even know.

    • macsJF December 2, 2011 at 8:50 am #

      Thanks Deborah! I’ll make sure to enjoy this moment as much as possible : )

      Sorry to hear about you and your husband’s issues, I hope the insurance problems get resolved!

  10. Rob Rubin December 2, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    I was shocked when I saw that this was only your second post. I bet youve made a lot of enemies from jealous bloggers (like myself lol) who continue to get trickles of views despite some of the best writing ever written since the invention of Microsoft Word 2007. But seriously, nice job. I will

    • Rob Rubin December 2, 2011 at 9:18 am #

      Damn iPhone. As I was saying…. I will probAbly follow you. I like your style.

      • macsJF December 2, 2011 at 11:29 am #

        “Probably” is good enough for me. : )

        And don’t worry, now that I’m off the FP grid I think it’s back to trickles.

  11. everythingswaiting December 2, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    Don’t worry, I’m gonna keep reading! The benefit of new blogs are you don’t have to catch up on their posts… you just wait for new ones!

    • macsJF December 2, 2011 at 11:30 am #

      Thanks! And yes, from here on out, it’s all fresh material for you! : )

  12. startablogabout December 2, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    I enjoy your photo captions and hope the traffic keeps coming your way. 🙂

    • macsJF December 2, 2011 at 11:31 am #

      Thanks! Glad to hear you enjoy the captions, they do take me a while : )

  13. Audra December 5, 2011 at 6:19 am #

    Great photos and captions – I enjoyed reading this and look forward to future posts.

    • macsJF December 9, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

      Awesome, thanks!

  14. Rob Rubin December 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    For your amazing effort, you have just been nominated for the Versatile Blogger award which entitles you to post a very stylish award graphic on your home page!

    For all rules and regulations please consult the following page:

    In the event you are not able to complete your duties as a Versatile Blogger award winner, an alternate winner will be chosen by someone other than me because I will be fast asleep in my bed.

  15. Sandra Parsons December 8, 2011 at 3:58 am #

    No more trickles for you, my friend. Let me do some maths here for you ok?
    So, by now you should have about, what, 200 followers? Nah, that’s probably too conservative but what the heck.
    Let’s now assume you will be publishing one post per week in the future. Yeah, I know, unless you publish something today you will be over a week since the last one but I’m going to chalk this one off to ‘too busy to come up with something new because I am still working on the backlog of comments from the FP bout’. So a week it is (no pressure here).
    I am further assuming every follower will read every single one of your future posts which is a pretty safe assumption, given they enjoyed your writing enough to sign up.
    So that means you will have an average of 200 divided by 7 equals 28.57 readers per day. That’s not a trickle. That’s more than I had on my most successful day so far (and I am fairly hilarious if I may say so myself). Ok, maybe not more but almost as many.
    Alright, alright, there is a tiny flaw in this advanced algorithm and you have spotted it. Of course, even if you publish as regularly as once a week from now on (I think by now you might have gotten my broad hint), chances are your followers will flog to your blog (whoohoo, how is that for hilarious!) mainly on the two to three days of publishing and after, and by the end of the week there will be mere trickles left.
    Rest assured, there will always be dopeys like me who realise only very late in the game that their email provider has sent the ‘new post’ message to the spam folder. So I promise you, there will never be a flat line in your stats anymore. Ever.
    And now, stop reading silly comments and publish already, dammit!

    • macsJF December 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

      I think you’re far too generous with the followers Sandra : ) Though I do appreciate the custom algorithm.

      Hopefully it keeps going strong!

      Thanks for reading! I’ll try and keep posting.


  16. Naeem Congo March 29, 2012 at 7:50 am #

    Great post. I can only imagine the emotional highs and lows.

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